January 5th

Today your 1st doctors appointment was schedule. January 17th. Your mom thinks we will be able to hear your heart beat that day. I'm excited. I read more about how you are developing. I'm still pretty nervous. This is a huge thing for me. With your brothers it was pretty easy they weren't babies when I came into their lives and breaking them didn't seem like a big possibility but you're going to be so small and fragile. Everyone thinks you're going to be a girl. I don't really care either way I just want you to be healthy. Mom went to bed early and I decided to start this blog for you. I want you to be able to see how you've changed me. A year ago you weren't even a thought now I'm trying to prepare for you. You scare me little one. I've never failed at anything I attempted to be good at but you will be the biggest task I've ever taken on and the most important one too.I don't have a blueprint or road map for you. You wont come with directions and I cant give up or start over so I have one shot at getting you right. I think I'm up for the challenge.